Just As It Should Be
by Luh13
Summary: "The Doctor and Rose Tyler… That's epic, you know? Better than Romeo and Juliet. It can't be changed. It's just the way it's supposed to." Rose leaves the Doctor after Girl in The Fireplace, now they'll have to figure a way to live their lives without each other.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, everyone! I had this idea a few months ago, but I was only able to write it down now, I hope you like it!**

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Rose Tyler was absolutely nervous.

She was standing outside the Doctor's room, wondering if she should proceed with her plan.

She knew the answer, but she didn't like it.

Rose took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Come in" he said.

She opened up the door and walked in, closing the door behind her and looking at him. He was lying on his bed, reading a book. He was using his specs, and she loved when he did that.

He put the book down and looked at her. "Rose? Is something wrong?"

"I almost lost you today." She said.

He seemed guilty as he sat on the bed, taking off the specs. "Rose, I-"

"No, let me finish. I almost lost you today, but that wasn't what hurt me the most. You promised me, Doctor. You promised you wouldn't abandon me. But that's what you did today. You've been avoiding me since we met Sarah Jane, and I understand. I really do. You think it's gonna hurt too much when I leave you. But I never thought you'd deny everything you feel for me to the point of abandoning me in a spaceship without a way to even come back to Earth." She paused, wiping the tears that were now falling from her eyes. "I'm really disappointed at you. And it hurts, Doctor. All the time I pretend I don't know what's happening because I want to make things easier for you. But then you do something like that…"

"Rose…" he didn't know what to say. He got up and walked to her, standing in front of the human. "I am so sorry. I didn't want you to feel like that."

"No, of course you didn't." she said with a cold voice that didn't fit her at all.

"Don't do this. Please." He begged. "You know that I am sorry. You know me better than anyone, you know that I'm feeling worse than you are right now."

"The thing is, Doctor. I don't know. I don't know how are you feeling. I don't know if you're even feeling something."

"I AM!" he shouted. "I AM FEELING HURT! I AM TERRIFIED THAT I'LL LOSE YOU! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, ROSE!" He took a deep breath. "I almost lost you today too. Don't forget that."

"It was your choice. You didn't have to risk losing me."

"I know." He said sadly and looked down.

"I'll forgive you." She said after a moment and he looked at her. "For tonight."

She hugged him and he was shocked enough to take a few moments to hug her back.

"Tonight I need you, ok?" she whispered.

"Rose, I don't think that's a good idea. I-"

"No, don't do this. You've been trying to put some distance between us, and I understand. But tonight let's forget about that, ok? Just for one night. Tomorrow we don't even have to talk about this. I promise."

He sighed. "Fine."

They laid in his bed, her head on his chest, and his hands on her hair.

"I wish things were different." He said after some time. "I wish things were easier."

"I don't. I don't regret anything, ok? Can you remember this? We, here, in this moment. I don't regret anything. I loved every bit. Even the difficult times. Everything was perfect because it was with us. Will you remember this?"

"Why are you saying this?"

"We only have tonight without the distance thing."

"You said 'when I leave you'."

"What?"

"You said 'You think it's gonna hurt too much when I leave you'."

"Don't you?"

"You know that's not what I'm talking about."

"I can't predict the future."

"No, but you used to be more optimistic about it."

"We still have tonight." She reminded him.

"I don't want this night to end."

She lifted her head and looked at him, their head only inches away. So she did the only thing she could think about: she kissed him.

It was a passionate, desperate kiss. But it also showed how much they cared about each other.

They only stopped when her human lungs needed more air.

"Rose-" he said.

"Shh. As I said, we don't need to talk about this tomorrow."

He kissed her again, this time more tenderly and briefly.

She laid her head back on his chest and heard his hearts beating until she fell asleep.

When she woke up the next day, he was already awake, but was still lying there with her.

"Good morning." He said, rearranging his position so he could look at her eye to eye.

"Good morning." She said and rested her hand on his cheek.

He turned his head and kissed her hand. "We shouldn't still be here. It's technically already morning. Well, it's on Earth."

"I know. That's why we said 'good morning'."

"Good point." He sighed, "I don't want this to end, Rose."

"Neither do I."

He smiled at her sadly and didn't say anything else.

After a few minutes, Rose took a deep breath and said "Doctor, we need to talk."

They both sat on the bad. He looked worried. "Is everything ok?"

"Do you know how I feel about you?"

"Rose, you know that we can't-"

"That's not what I asked." She cut him. He didn't say anything. "I think you know. But if you don't, know that I feel the same way you feel about me. Don't you ever think I feel less than that, because I don't."

"Why are you saying that? You're saying strange things since last night. Rose, what's happening?"

She took a deep breath and looked down. "I want to go home."

His face became hard and his body tensed up. "Because of what happened?"

"Not only because of that, but it helped, yeah." She still couldn't look at him. "I am sorry. But I'm not doing this only because of me, Doctor. It's because of you."

"How can that be because of me?" he asked angrily.

"It's the same thing as the distance rule. As soon as I leave, you feel less pain. And so do I. I can't risk you abandoning me because you're afraid of your feelings. That's gonna hurt too much, Doctor. I can't do that. I'm sorry. I really wish I could be strong enough to keep going, but I just can't. But, please, don't you ever doubt of my feelings for you. I'll always feel that way. And I… I want to ask you something. Will you remember me?"

She lifted her head and looked in his eyes. "Always." He said with such sadness in his voice that she almost changed her mind.

"I don't want to leave. I really don't. I'm gonna miss the TARDIS. I'm gonna miss this life… And mostly, I'm gonna miss you. I'm sorry, Doctor."

"Yesterday you said you didn't want things to be different."

"I still don't. The Doctor and Rose Tyler… That's epic, you know? Better than Romeo and Juliet. It can't be changed. It's just the way it's supposed to."

"I don't know if I like the way it's supposed to be."

"No… It's only beautiful to those who are watching from the outside."

"There's no one watching."

"There's always someone watching." She said.

"I don't want you to go." He said after a moment.

"I know." She said. "But you still have your memories."

"I wouldn't mind having new ones."

"Don't tempt me." She smiled sadly. "Mickey's going with me."

"I thought he would. Maybe he'll have a chance with you now."

She shook her head. "My heart already has an owner." She looked at him and hugged him. "I have to do this."

"I know."

"If I don't do this now, I won't do it anymore."

"I know, Rose. I understand."

"I should… I better go change clothes and get my things. I'll meet you in the console room?"

"Yeah, sure." He said and she left the room, leaving him alone.

Alone, that was how the universe wanted him to be.

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**I really love reviews, you know. So tell me if I should continue or not.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello! I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

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It was hard for Rose, in the beginning.

She missed running for her life, she missed new grounds under her feet, she missed the freedom, and she missed all the learning about new cultures. But the thing she missed the most was _him._

_He _had become a forbidden subject around her. _He_ shouldn't be mentioned under any circumstances. _He _still made her heart ache even when he wasn't there.

She survived, though.

She found a new job, went to pubs with Shareen, made new friends and had… Fun. Nothing compared to the times in the TARDIS, mind you, but she was able to get back into her old routine.

She thought that, with time, she'd get over him. Because, like Jackie always said, 'Time fix everything'… But how long would it take?

After the first two months, she realized that the pain would never be completely gone. And she realized she didn't really want it to be.

She was no masochist, but the pain was all that was left between them. She preferred feeling that pain, than feeling nothing at all. Somehow, the pain made everything she went through with him more real. The pain made her feel like it all meant something.

"Mom," she called Jackie once after three months had passed. "Did you ever get over dad's death?"

The elder woman hugged her daughter. "No, sweetheart."

"But how did you make to stop feeling so much pain?" Rose said beginning to cry.

"I didn't. The pain won't go away, Rose. Never. But you start getting used to it. You start realizing that it will always be there, and you'll have to deal with it." Jackie sighed. "Why did you do this? Why did you leave him? I hate to admit, but… You were happy with him."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"No, you never do."

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Five months later, Rose was still feeling miserable.

She still missed him more than anything, so, one night, after not being able to sleep, she decided to go to the roof.

She sat on the edge, looking at the stars. Thinking about a time when she could go anywhere, any when.

And then… And then she heard it.

The most beautiful sound in the world: the TARDIS sound.

She got up quickly and started looking for it. And she found it, parked in the shadows of that cold night. She saw the TARDIS parked down there in the ground.

The door was opened, and a tall figure got out of her. It was him. The Doctor. He was there.

Rose gasped, she couldn't really see him because of the shadows, but she knew it was him.

And she knew he was looking at her.

They didn't say anything, they just looked at each other for a few minutes before he turned around and got into the TARDIS.

She didn't try to stop him, she didn't scream his name.

She let him go. Because she still hadn't forget why she had left him, and it was for the best.

Or at least, that was what she told herself.

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Six months later, things weren't ok.

Ghosts appeared all over the Earth, she knew something was wrong. It didn't feel right for her.

They shouldn't be there, but no one seemed to think like her.

It only took a few days to humans start loving them. But she knew better from her trips with the Doctor.

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Seven months later… That was when Rose lost everything.

The day started just like any other, but then… Then everything went to hell.

First, the ghosts… They turned into sort of robots. Rose had never seen them before.

She was alone at home, and she tried to call her mother. To make sure everything was ok. But Jackie never picked up.

And neither did Mickey.

She tried to calm down, and think that the Doctor would probably save the day. And she, her mother and Mickey were going to be ok.

They didn't invade her house, she was lucky.

But she looked through the window once… Daleks. Millions of Daleks.

She wished she were with the Doctor now. He needed her. She needed him.

After what seemed years, the attack stopped.

She thanked the Doctor mentally and ran outside.

Rose helped a few people that were injured, and tried to do whatever she could to find her mom and Mickey.

She only found out after two days that they were dead.

One weak later, after the funeral, she went home, exhausted, and found a bouquet of red roses with a note that said:

"_I'm so, so sorry, Rose. I know it's hard, but I hope you're fine. Or at least as fine as you can be right now._

_I know you told me not to look for you anymore, and I did, two months ago because I missed you too much. I still do, really._

_I wish I could've saved them._

_Be fine, all right?_

_- The Doctor"_

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On Christmas, Rose was completely devastated.

She did not only have flashbacks from her last Christmas, with the Doctor. She also had to spend it completely alone.

She didn't have anyone to make her company.

And then… She heard the Thames had been drained. And she couldn't help but smile. He was involved, she was sure.

She hoped he was fine.

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A few months later, Rose was watching TV.

And suddenly… They reported a hospital had simply disappeared.

She didn't miss any time. She ran to the place and searched for the TARDIS nearby… After almost an hour of looking for it, she found it.

Rose still had her key, so she opened the door and ran inside.

_It's good to be home_, she thought.

She walked through those corridors and found his room. She got inside and there was paper and a pen on his bed.

She mentally thanked the TARDIS and wrote him a note, letting him know that she's been there.

She entered a few more rooms and then left.

* * *

After offering Martha a trip, he told her to explore the TARDIS and he went to his room.

He was feeling strange… Like he was somehow cheating on Rose by offering Martha a trip.

He took a deep breath and lay down on his bed. That made a weird noise that sounded like… Paper?

He searched for it and found a note that said:

"_Dear, Doctor._

_I heard about the hospital and I knew you'd be involved. It seemed like I was right._

_And you drained the Thames? That made my Christmas._

_Thank you so much for the roses, and the note. I miss you so much. I know that if I saw you, I'd go back travelling with you, but I don't know if I should._

_Somehow, I think our story isn't over yet._

_Seeing the TARDIS… It brought too many memories, and I still need some time alone. _

_Thank you for taking care of me, I know you've been keeping an eye on me. And I really appreciate it._

_I hope your fine._

_I'm thinking of you._

_- Rose"_

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**Please, please, please, I want reviews!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm so, so sorry about how long it took me to right this one. But I had my finals, and then I was worried about my prom... And now I'm finally on my (well deserved) vacations and I have time to write chapters.**

**And I really do mean vacations, not winter break or whatever it's called. Specially because here it's summer, so I have December and January to write. Except that I'll be traveling on the last week of December, and the first o January. But I'll try to write as much as I can.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter.**

**(PS: It's 1:20am here, I barely slept last night and my cat didn't stop walking on my keyboard, so I'm sorry for any mistakes I might have made)**

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The Doctor felt better after reading Rose's letter.

He went on a few adventures with Martha, even took her to New Earth to remember some of the good old times. Of course, everything went terribly wrong, but who cares?

He was fine, anyway. Or at least as fine as he could possibly be without her. He could take maybe one more month before looking for her again.

That was… Until he met the Daleks again.

Then he completely lost it.

He gave Martha some excuse and parked the TARDIS in front of the Powell State a few months after the incident with the hospital.

He didn't go looking for her though. He just waited.

He waited for hours before realizing that she wasn't going to show up.

Then he told Martha he was going to take her home…. And ended up on another adventure involving a stupid old man who thought he could change humanity.

He let Martha become a regular companion after that.

In his mind, it felt like he was cheating on Rose. He knew that said thought were ridiculous. He and Rose weren't together. Nor he and Martha. But he always felt guilty about being with her.

Then there was an incident with a sun that was alive and angry. He almost lost Martha.

They kept on traveling; he met a girl, Sally Sparrow, someone from his future, apparently.

Every now and then he would let the TARDIS parked on the Powell State, waiting for Rose to come in. But she never did.

And then he met the Family of Blood. And he had to become human.

He dreamed of her. Always of her. He couldn't name the TARDIS, or the sonic screwdriver, but there she was, Rose Tyler in all her glory.

Their story written on a journal.

After coming back to being a Time Lord, he decided he had to talk to her face to face. Even if it was for her to say that she didn't want to be with him anymore.

He parked the TARDIS in front of the Powell State one more time and said to Martha wait for him there, that he would be right back, ignoring her questions of what he was going to do.

He knocked on Rose's door and it was opened…

By someone who wasn't Rose.

"Hello" said the Doctor. "I'm looking for my… Friend, Rose Tyler. Is she here?" he asked to the woman who opened the door. She looked like she was around fifty.

"Oh" the woman said, sounding surprised. "It's been such a long time, I never thought you would… Well, Rose doesn't live here anymore. It's been fifteen years now."

He looked at her in shock. "What? Where is she? Did she leave an address?"

"Yes. She told me that maybe you… Are you John Smith?" he nodded. "She told me that maybe you'd come look for her. But it's been so long. I thought… I thought that you wouldn't come."

"I'm here now. Do you still have the address?"

She looked at him for a moment. "You're very lucky. I kept it because Rose is a very nice woman and I wanted to make sure that I could help her if ever needed. Come in." she said entering the apartment and leaving the door open so he could follow her.

The apartment looked completely different than the one he was used to. And it felt weird.

_Fifteen years_, he thought. _She's fifteen years older. I am fifteen years late._

"Here it is." The woman said and handed him a piece of paper in which an address was written.

"Thank you! I'm sorry, what was your name?"

"Lucy. Now go."

"Thank you, Lucy." He said as he ran out of the apartment.

He entered the TARDIS, and didn't even notice Martha standing there looking at him.

"Where are we going? Doctor, what's happening?"

"I have something I need to do." He said like that was an explanation and she rolled her eyes.

He landed the TARDIS on the address that woman gave him. And once again he told Martha to wait for him inside the ship.

He looked for the number of her house, which wasn't hard to find, since it was the only house that seemed to be someone living in.

He took a deep breath and then knocked the door.

She opened it.

"Hello." She said smiling. "Are you my new neighbor?"

"Rose." It was all he said before pulling her into his arms.

"Hey. I missed you too."

"How long… How long it's been for you?" he asked looking at her.

"About… Twenty years."

"Twenty? That's not possible. You look… You look exactly the same."

She smiled sadly and took a deep breath. "Come in. I'll explain everything. Or at least… I hope you can explain a few things to me."

He followed her in, looking around and recognizing a few of the things that used to be on her old apartment.

The house was small, it wasn't much, but there was something about it that was so… Rose.

They sat on her couch and she took his hand.

"Where do I begin? Well… After I left you, I came back to my old life. Found a job, hang out with my friends… Tried to pretend everything was ok when it wasn't. I tried… I tried to pretend like you didn't exist. But I missed you too much. I couldn't… I couldn't ignore it. And then, one night, I went to the roof… Just to look at the stars. They reminded me of the TARDIS, and you and… Us. And then I heard her. The TARDIS, oh I missed her. I missed that sound. I still do, really. And I knew you were there… And I realized, I couldn't forget. That I shouldn't even bother to try because there was no way that was going to happen. But I also couldn't go back with all the traveling and you… I was still hurt, you know? So I let you go. And then…" she took another deep breath, her eyes watering. He realized she still hadn't looked him in the eyes. "Then the ghost appeared. And I knew something was wrong. I knew they couldn't be trusted. But everyone else said I was being paranoid. That they were our friends and family. Even mum and Mickey and-" she let out a sob, the tears falling down her face. "And then they turned into those robots or something. And then there were Daleks, and I was home alone. I wasn't with you facing it. I wasn't with mom and Mickey helping them… It's my… It's my fault. If I hadn't left you… They would be alive. I know they would."

He pulled her to his arms again, holding her tight. "Rose Tyler, please tell me that you didn't spend all this time believing that their death was your fault. Because it wasn't. It could be anyone's fault, but yours. Don't you ever blame yourself for that, ok? Do you understand me?"

She nodded, still sobbing miserably on his chest.

He held her for a few minutes before she stopped crying. "Sorry, I still… I still miss them so much, you know. Well, uhm… Anyway." She said whipping her tears away. "Your note… And the roses. Thank you for that. I loved it." She smiled. "Then I was alone for some time. Heard about the Thames… Your fault?"

"Sort of" he said offering her a smile.

"I knew it." She said smiling back. "Well, anyway… Then I heard about the hospital, and I just wanted to see the TARDIS… And I left you a note, so you wouldn't forget about me." She said only half-joking.

"Even if I wanted, I wouldn't be able to." He assured her.

"And then I spent like… Five years on the Powell State and I realized… I wasn't growing old. I mean, I know I'm not supposed to have wrinkles or something with 25, but… I wasn't changing. Nothing at all. And my hair. I didn't have to color my hair anymore. Because it became naturally blonde. I was afraid people would start noticing something was wrong… So I moved out. Left an address in case you came looking for me… 15 year later."

"I… I didn't mean to be so long, Rose. I landed the TARDIS so many times on the Powell State, waiting for you. But… I couldn't wait to see you anymore so I went to meet you and found out that you weren't living there for years. I'm sorry." He looked at her again, with curiosity. "You said it didn't look like you were aging… And you haven't. You haven't change one bit. Why's that, Rose?"

"That's what I hoped you could tell me, Doctor."

He took a deep breath. "I'll find out, I promise."

"I know you will." She said and got up. "Oh, there is one more thing. I'll be right back" she said and went to the kitchen. She came back a few moments later with a sharp knife.

"Rose, what are you doing?" he said getting up and walking to her.

She looked at him, confused. "What are you talking about? Look, let me show you what happens when-" she didn't finish her sentence and cut herself in the arm.

He grabbed the knife from her hand and threw it on the ground.

"What the hell are you thinking?!" he said holding up her arm to see the cut.

"Calm down, Doctor. Just look."

He looked at her face for a moment, then turned his attention the cut.

Suddenly, it started to glow with a golden energy and when it disappeared, the cut was gone.

"What? How the hell do you do this? And did you really have to grab a knife and cut yourself? Couldn't you have just said 'Hey, Doctor! I don't age, my hair is blonde and I can heal myself within seconds!'?"

"Calm down!" she said, touching his face. "I'm fine. I just wanted to show you what happens. It's hard to explain that I glow when I get harmed! What did you think I was going to do, anyway? Kill myself? Did you really think that I was waiting for you only to kill myself in front of you? Does it even make sense?"

"I'm sorry. I just… I don't like when you get harmed. That's all. And you were talking about feeling guilty… And I freaked out. I'm without you for too long, Rose."

"I'm without you for twenty years." She said, kind of expecting him to say that he hasn't seen her in centuries.

"That's true. But… You don't need me the way I need you." He touched her arm. "Rose… I… I-"

"I know." She said. "Me too."

He let out a breath of relief and smiled at her. And then he looked nervous. "Rose."

"What? What is it?"

"It's just… Are you coming back?"

She grinned at him. "Of course I am."

"Good." He said and leaned down to kiss her.

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**Reviews? Please?**


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